In Genesis after the fall of Adam and Eve, God was handing out curses to them as a result of their sin. He looked at Eve and said:
"I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children" Genesis 3:16
I gotta say, God nailed this curse. Bravo, good one God.
I'm 21 weeks pregnant today. I still feel like I'm early in pregnancy, and yet I didn't realize how uncomfortable I would be at 21 weeks. With that in mind, it's a bit overwhelming to think that I still have 4 1/2 months to go. If sleep is this tough now, what will it be like next month, in 2 months...3.....yikes!! and the pain in my lower back!?!?!? I don't even want to think about that.
As uncomforable as I am, I'm having trouble having a good attitude. Everytime someone asks me how I'm feeling I want to describe it with obsenities, instead I just say "it blows". Today I'm been trying to change "it blows" to "she's growing" or something along those lines, you know that don't actually show my feelings at all.
I think the biggest issue with my, lets be real...constant complaining, is the way it's effecting Daniel. He's so wonderful, he doesn't say anything negative to me, but I can see in his face that he's running out of positive things to say to me.
He and I were talking last night and was saying that I really need anattitude change. I can think about Imogen and I get so excited, I feel her wiggle in my belly and I want to drop what I'm ding and just enjoy the moment. Then with everything else I have nothing positive to say or think.
I have tried to justify it in my mind "all these things have to happen to ensure that our little girl is safe and healthy" but that's really not helping.
When daniel and I were engaged we became very said at how negative people were to use about marriage. Few people built it up to us, we vowed to always encourge engaged couples with the joys of marriage. I've been thinking about that same concept in relation to pregnancy. What is the good I can focus on? I have a friend who is early on in her pregnancy, how can I have a positive attitude and outlook so as to encourage her rather give her a bad taste before she really gets going.
Now when it comes down to it, this is afterall a curse from God and I've heard enough fairtales to know that curses are not meant to be pleasant. But with every single fairytale I've ever heard, the curse eventually lifts and they live happily ever after.
Here is another verse for you: John 16:21 "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."
ReplyDeleteIt's true that even though it's hard now, and labour is probably one of the hardest things you will ever endure, once Imogen is here it will all have been worthwhile and you would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Bringing a new person into existence is such an amazing miracle and privilege, I think it's a good thing that the cost is high. Most things in life that are meaningful and worthwhile bring with them some degree of pain and work. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, pregnancy IS hard and your feelings are totally valid. But you are doing very important work, and it helps to keep the big picture in mind, which I know you do. =)
I do find it hard to believe that I woudl do it al again in a heatbeat (though woman have been doing it for 1000's of years) I am very excited to have my little girl to hold and cuddle.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelly